Hey this is Peyton back at you live..... haha i've always wanted to say that. Anyway it's really been awhile since we've last seen each othere if youa re even the ame people,,,, i'm a little harder to look at these days what with the weight gain and all but i'm still the same me. have you missed me??????? come on you know you have or you wouldn't be here right now... the web cam is back and everything...same old same old....well we have alot to catch up on.... i have a son now he is almost two years old and you might see him on here but not very much i can assure you....welll what more can i say things don't really change people still always leave....guys still abuse and rape.... the world is still full of drugs and hate....nothing great to tell you...but i have to go now i've got some things to do so i will talk to you later.

p.s.

ok here i am again.... i don't really have much to talk a about...some things have been really bugging me...i haven't had a drink in a couple weeks... which is wierd cause in the words of dan scott i was really "boozy", cherry whiskey (hell i even learnt how to make a cherry whiskey paralyzer at home)... mom had a heart attack about a month ago, haikey said i wasn't worth fighting for and dustee has deemed her to be right cause he hasn't talked to me in a long time.....well anyway this is my life now... i'm a single mom working my ass off and really depressed out of my tree....sometimes i wonder what life would be like without me....i know noah would be way better off... that's my son's name, Noah Michael James (Lucas Scott) ((hahahaha just kidding))... although if things had been differant maybe he wouldn't have me.... would he be better off without me? maybe he would but i sure would be nothing without him....anyway enough with the depressing stuff ok.... my job really rocks, although sometimes i don't act like it... i love working with the kids and it is great for noah...there is one thing that is totally eating away at me though.... a few months ago this random stranger broke into the apartment.....wait let me start from the begginning ok... in january of last year i got really sick and spent like 3 days ont he floor of my apartment cause i was in so much pain... i couldn't even look after Noah...for those three days i had left the keys in my door... yeah i know stupid huh... anyway i got tp the hospital and found out that i ahd gullstones and i had them so bad that they had attacked my pancreas and i had mild (but it sure the hell didn't feel mild to me) pancreatitis.... yeah i know so anyway i had my surgery in april (right around the same time i started my awesome job with the kids)... as it turns out since then things haven't really been right at home, things being moved... movies being watched food being ate.... i sure as hell wasn't doing it,m at first i thought maybe i had a ghost (but we all know the ghost seeing dead people thing so i won't go there) but i knew that couldn't be.... so anyway one day i come home and all my porn is left out on the living room floor all creepy like in a row like an omen or something, this went on for a few (like 8) months... untill finally as i said earlier some random stranger broke into my apartment... i was having a hard time sleeping and i'm lucky he came when he did cause if he had been just 5 minutes later i would have been out like a light... anywayi was in my bedroom and i heard the door open the bastard had used a key to get in, a key that he had probably copied, anyway i'm sitting straight up in my bed cause i'm scared as hell but i don't know what to do...and he walks straight into my room and says, "hey baby i've been waiting a long time for this" and approaches me at the bed and grabs my leg to like spread it open or something and get right in there and wekll you know so anyway i'm like dozing in and out, ands i start pushing him off like what the fuck and he says, how much do you love that baby boy of yours?and i'm like what the fuck and he's like you wouldn't want anything to happen to him would you, as he's like caressing my face so i bite him and tell him to fuck off and he grabs me by the hair and says listen bitch i either get exactly what i need from you or i take it from the boy, so i start crying and i let him have me, it hurts like hell and i really want him to stop but i let him what else can i do right, he is stronger than me and he would hurt my son....so he's done and he gets off of me and kisses me on the cheek and says thanks baby see you soon...then i hear the door to noahs room open and he laughs to himself and says next... so i hop out of bed... i can barely move i'm all week and dozy and i walk up to him and i don't know what came over me but i punch him as hard as i can and i tell him he got what he wanted so he can get the fuck out af my houseand he laughs and syas ok baby... i love you when your mad... love... that really pisses me off so he gets out and i cry like hell and my body just gives up and i fall asleep at the door... the next morning i tell my landlord i need my locks changed and he says ui have to do it myself and then give him the key, i can't afford it, so i get a lock on the door that like is like a hotel room lock you know the cheap ones i'm a talking about, anyway it works,,,, keeps him out at night anyway... now i ahve nightmares about it all the time and i know he will find a way back in eventually, cause they always do right....so in conclusion for the night... people always leave...sometimes they come back....but never the good ones..

p.s.